Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
