Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
