make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize
