belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
