Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
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