But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Randomize
