ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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