that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
