apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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