I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
