I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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