i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
