You can't special order awesome
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
