Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
