It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
