Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
