CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I'm sobbing to NWA
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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