dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
