I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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