I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
