Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
