a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Come see our sink grown plant.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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