I'm so fucking centered right now
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
