No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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