you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
