I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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