My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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