Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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