you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
