i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
