worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
