Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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