Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
We're too hungover to prance.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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