I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
