Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
