how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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