Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
