Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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