Umm I'm too high to move.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
