he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
