...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
