My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
you inspire me to be a worse person
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
