i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
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