I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Who died my cat blue again?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
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