Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
