Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
