so that wasnt chicken after all
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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