she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
