Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
