They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
